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Story by Ian Guerin
MYRTLE BEACH, S.C. | When a round is on, man, it is on. 
The sun shining overhead, perfect grass underneath … it sometimes doesn’t even matter what the scorecard says at the end of the day. 
It’s why play along South Carolina’s Grand Strand golfing mecca is so popular year round. Combined with an abundance of courses and market forces that pay off for players, it’s easy to see why Myrtle Beach has the reputation that it does. 
But even for as much as we do to maximize that &#8211; new clubs, proper course selection, making the right decisions &#8211; the written and unwritten faux pas of others can negate all of that quicker than you can put a tee in the ground. Those actions are out of our control, and yet, they’re still front and center affecting your game. 
From the pompous to the slow, those who don’t care about the course to those who don’t care for it, there are groups of golfers we hope not to see when pulling up to the bag drop. 
Frankly, their choices only make the game worse. 
If you’re one of these people. Knock it off.
ELITISM RUN AMOK 
I list this first, because God’s gift to the game is a pain in the you know what. 
And it has nothing to do with skill level. 
Look, in some form or another, we all paid something to get out on that course that day. The wallet was opened a little wider for some, but that doesn’t make your 18 holes worth any more than that of the group in front or behind you, the next person trying to check in his clubs or someone else standing in line at the snack bar. If you big-time someone else &#8211; be it a fellow player or a staff member of that course &#8211; you’re setting a negative tone that no one wants. 
Or needs. 
That goes for those who are playing “down” from their normal stomping grounds. Almost regardless of where you’re playing, it’s not going to be confused for St. Andrews or Augusta National. But only pointing out the flaws at your round du jour vs. that top-end track you played one time back in 2005? You sound like a jerk.
THE STORYTELLER THAT DOESN’T KNOW WHEN TO STOP<img decoding="async" alt="" src="/media/images/Buddy_T.png" style="width: 325px;height: 180px;float: right" /> 
Golf’s tales are an extension of our best memories. We get little reminders on every round of one’s long gone. Those stories should continue until the end of time. Otherwise, what’s the point of building memories with a club in our hand? 
However, sharing your memories should not be used to lessen those of others. If you have to come over the top of every comment or cut off one story to try to blend in your own, you probably need to get into journaling and try to sell the manuscript. 
Because here’s the part that folks who fit this bill tend to forget: The best thing about golf isn’t the chances at glory (mainly from those of us who don’t deserve it). It is the relationships we can create, the people we meet and the times we have together. I’ve met so many fantastic fellow players over the years. So, no, talking at someone for four hours simply isn’t the same. Instead, do your best to listen. And when the time is right, share away.
SLOBS &amp; LITTERERS 
On the course, your environmental and visual footprint is hyper-pronounced. 
While snackers snack, smokers smoke, drinkers drink and those who take massive chunks out of fairways with a wedge do just that, the remnants of your round should be kept to a minimum.  
A candy wrapper or mangled beer can next to a fairway is an eye sore. A cigarette butt flicked onto the green is flat out disrespectful. It’s part of the reason that courses long ago decided trash cans are more appealing than waste and started making them more available. Use them. And for those of you who haven&#8217;t perfected picking an approach shot without moving grass, learn to replace the sod and utilize those nifty canisters that are attached to the cart. 
Remember, whatever your footprint may be, the less time the maintenance staff is picking up after you equates to more time mastering the playing surface.
BALL HAWKS 
I’ll talk more about the time some players are misusing below, but something we’ve all seen is the dude who just can’t seem to let that errant shot go and keeps on searching. 
“That ball cost me a few extra bucks,” I’ve heard, paraphrased, on more than one occasion. 
“Maybe you should switch to range balls,” I’ve usually followed up (in my head, of course). 
The rest of us shouldn’t be sitting around wondering if our driver’s license expired while you were poking around next to the red stakes. If the price of a ball gives you credence to take 5 minutes to look for it, your game itself should be a clue to scale back. And if you’re having that type of day where you’re constantly flirting with disaster areas off the fairway, you also need to have the common sense to change your strategy (shelf the driver, maybe?). 
So much of golf’s on-course issues in terms of scoring well or not can be associated with various mental blocks. That goes for the types who can’t let a good ball go. We all spray from time to time. It’s inevitable. But if you’re able to change course &#8211; and if you’re able to give up a few moments faster on those awful shots &#8211; it will immediately add to the enjoyment for everyone you’re playing with. 
And probably you, too.
CART SQUATTERS<img decoding="async" alt="" src="/media/images/Buddy_Trip.jpg" style="width: 315px;height: 187px;float: right" /> 
The scope of how people use their on-course transportation &#8211; and yes, carts are all but required throughout Myrtle Beach &#8211; has turned into my own personal diatribe on slow play. Unless you’re solo (or the odd man out in a threesome), there is no rule that states that each player must stay in the cart when they aren’t hitting the next shot. 
Here are two good examples of what I’m talking about. 
First, if you and your immediate partner each find opposite sides of a fairway off the tee, one person can easily hump it a few steps from the closer ball and be ready to hit right after the other. Or, at the very least (when driving to both is a must due to location or physical need) use that first stop to get the next possible club or two ready and in your hand.  
Second, chances are both players didn’t hit their second or third shot onto the green. So instead of both riding up the path and parking before drawing putters, leave that responsibility to the person with the better shot while the other walks to his or hers. 
Neither strategy is going to change the effect of one hole. But believe us when they save plenty of time over the course of a round and keep ready golf the name of the game.
Ian Guerin is a DJ and freelance writer based in Myrtle Beach. You can follow him on Twitter <a href="https://twitter.com/iguerin?lang=en" target="_blank" rel="noopener">@iguerin</a> and Facebook <a href="https://www.facebook.com/IanGuerinWriter/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">facebook.com/IanGuerinWriter/</a>

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